Attracting women

It’s far better to attract a woman than to chase her!

First of all; attraction isn’t a choice, it’s an emotional response…and you can’t convince a woman to feel it with logic, gifts and kindness. All along, we men have been told to ‘be yourself’, ‘smile’ and ‘tell her how you feel’ but it didn’t work. Did it?

The problem with attraction and success with women in general is that the things you need to DO to be successful are NOT OBVIOUS i.e. they’re COUNTER-INTUITIVE or the opposite of what you’d think. For example; buying her flowers too early while still dating, taking her out to dinner on the first date, being all lovey-dovey over the phone or on the date, sending her air-time or cash for WHATEVER REASON via mpesa, or just being a nice guy.

If you’ve done any of those things in an attempt to attract a woman then this blog will be a worthwhile read for you and if you’ve done neither of the above then you are either:

a) A ‘natural’ i.e. you probably have a god-given gift and this comes naturally to you, or

b) A big, fat liar and which would mean that you have far bigger issues to worry about than success with women.

Most attractive women don’t appreciate ‘niceness’ since they think that if you would be as superior as they are, you would not be nice. To them, nice is for people who are inferior. After all, they don’t have to be nice and look how everyone kisses up to them. In short, to them nice guys are losers!

The Elusive Obvious

In order to attract women successfully, there is a linear relationship in the process that occurs and one needs to know how to handle each stage effectively. This may seem intuitive and evident but believe me many people still make mistakes (myself included, yes guys…even the guru stumbles now and then ;-)

Put simply: 1.Attraction – 2.Comfort – 3.Seduction

The mistakes guys make:

1. Seduction first – they start at the end.

2. Comfort first – they start in the middle.

3. Attraction but no comfort – start but fail to escalate.

4. Attraction and comfort only – you end up being told ‘let’s just be friends’.Ouch!

Mistake #1 is the one guys often make and which I was also guilty of making the most in the early stages of my learning process.

Attraction, Comfort & Seduction are the 3 fundamental stages that one should focus on the most. To be more specific, however there’s a step-by-step method that needs to be observed which is referred to as The Emotional Progression Model (EPM).

The Emotional Progression Model (EPM).

1. Approaching – you’re a stranger to her, therefore the things you say and do in the initial stages of the conversation are critical in determining your subsequent success or failure as the case may be i.e. your opening remark(s),general appearance, posture, facial expressions, body language and vocal tonality.
2. Transitioning – taking the initial conversation and shifting it into a more general and flirtatious interaction.
3. Attraction – where you get her to be interested in you.
4. Qualification – where you make her work for your interest and build a connection based on more than her looks i.e. you need to show her that you have values and she needs to have much more than her looks going for her for you to EVEN THINK about dating her!
5. Comfort – where you solidify the mutual attraction into an emotional and/or physical connection.
6. Seduction – pretty straight forward I think i.e. ‘closing the deal’.
7. Relationship – this is where you steer the subsequent interaction into anything from a traditional boyfriend/girlfriend situation to a friends with benefits situation.

To be fully conversant with all the stages takes a considerable amount of practice, effort and commitment but works wonders for those who are willing to learn coz once you ‘get it’ everything changes and you begin to start dating more and more women than you can handle!