Approaching women

More often than not, women reject the approach not the guy. Let’s face it, those Fresh Prince of Bel Air pick-up lines don’t work. While approaching a woman, you’re a stranger to her, so the things you’ll say and do to start a conversation are critical in this stage for her to keep listening to you. Usually, in the first 3-5 minutes of the conversation she won’t be saying much so you need to put in much more effort and do most of the talking.

This should be in statement form, just like how you would talk to your friend-you should NOT INTERVIEW her by merely asking questions e.g. “How are you? What’s your name? What do you do? Why? Where? When? Who?” etc…you get the drift. Needless to say, this is sooooooo BORING and you should not blame her for losing interest very quickly where she keeps looking at her watch and glancing around every now and then. Let’s say you want to ask her what she does, instead of “What do you do?” you could say, “I ’m good at guessing what guys do for a living…may I do you/yours?”

She smiles and says ok.
You: “you look like a banker/a teacher/a manager etc..or
You could say: “you look like an astronaut/an assistant chief/radiologist...”

You could choose to open either directly or indirectly: A direct opener is one where you state your intentions clearly e.g. “I think you’re cute and would like to get to know you better”. However, I would recommend the direct opener only for guys who have managed to overcome their approach-anxiety and are therefore confident and in control around women for this is the only way you will be able to pull off this approach unless you have the first 5 qualities that turn women on that I’d mentioned in a previous blog. I will address the issue of how to get over your approach anxiety and gain confidence in one of my next blogs..just be patient my guy :-)

I should take this chance to tell you that mastering how to attract women is a long-term commitment and not an instant cure…of course you will see results if you’re a fast-learner or if you put in much effort but either way, in the Venusian Arts and life in general, class is always in session and there’s no such thing as failure, just opportunities to learn.

To begin with and sometimes even when you’ve mastered the basics I suggest you start with indirect openers: choose the one(s) you’re most comfortable with and run with that. Even I use indirect openers, especially when approaching 10’s and 11’s.

Examples of Indirect openers are:

1. Functional opener: “What time is it? / “Do you know where I can get X?”

2. Situational opener: you could talk about things going on around you, e.g. you could say something about the waiter-how he reminds you of X/ comment on people who you see, like a couple who are too quiet,etc..

3. Opinion opener: ask for her advice or opinion on something, especially on topics that women find interesting i.e. fashion, astrology, relationships, famous people, sex, the unknown, pop-culture etc. and then take these topics from your own life and relate to them.

4. Complimentary opener: tell her that she has good style – a classy outfit/ an amazing dress/ lovely shoes/ nice hair/ cute blouse etc…

NB
NEVER EVER compliment a HOT chick on her looks!