Transitioning

Transitioning: Turning a single-subject approach into a normal, free-flowing conversation.

Transitioning turns a simple interaction into a longer conversation by introducing at least one new topic and changing the dynamic of your interaction. This is a very important phase and one that turns approaches into conversations.

It doesn’t matter what you say first to a woman (as long as it’s not vulgar or stupid). What matters is what you say to her after she responds because she needs to know what you’re made of.

The question that goes through her mind when you vibe her is “Why is this guy talking to me?” Either:

1. He is just chatty.

2. He is interested in me – cool!

3. He is interested in me – yuck!

We do not want No. 3. The difference in 1 & 2 is not appearing to be needy and showing her that it’s no big deal whether she engages you in the conversation or not.

In reality you need to re-open continuously by introducing new topics that are completely unrelated to the last. That is taking charge.

As soon as you know the topic is going to stall out or not be interesting anymore just pick it up and move it to another topic which is fresh and hopefully, a lot different from the last.

Regular people never do that in real life because they are afraid of cutting people off or not being able to make a new topic interesting, or worried about taking charge etc... The problem is that when no one takes charge of the conversation and hopes it just goes in a good direction, the interaction has no magic.

Always lead the interaction, it is necessary to keep things fun in the opening phase of the game. If you don’t work to steer the conversation into interesting topics, the woman may accidentally raise her own boring topics – and then she’ll feel bored and blame it on you.

However, if you find the conversation stalling and the awkward silence about to creep in you could always use canned material/universal transitions as a back-up plan. E.g.

1. What’s on the agenda for tonight?

2. How do you guys know each other?

3. Do a cold read of group dynamics: Assess the group and identify-“…you’re the spoiler,or leader,or the one who is normally left behind,or the one who makes sure no one is left behind/all get home safely etc.

4. Observational transition: “…you guys have known each other for a while – you have the same smile etc. Or you could give them the best friends test, where you ask them questions about themselves e.g. Ask “Do you guys use the same shampoo, toothpaste, lotion, whatever?” If they’re really close, they will know this and say yes almost simultaneously or look at each other and smile.

5. No transition i.e. she does it for you:

· She asks you questions.

· She asks your name.

· She gives extended answers to your questions.