ATTRACTION: PART 2

BOYFRIENDS

Nine times out of ten when a woman says, "I have a boyfriend,” what this translates to is, "You just telegraphed too much interest.” It has nothing to do with whether she actually has a boyfriend. In fact, if she is attracted to you, she will often deliberately hide the boyfriend from you until after you have had sex with her. Whether she mentions him or not in no way proves that he actually exists—only that she had a motive to mention him.

Some Reasons That a Woman Might Say She Has a Boyfriend

1. Though she doesn't have a boyfriend) she's not attracted to you or you miscalibrated your escalation.

2. She does have a boyfriend and) given her current options, she has chosen to stick with that relationship.

3. She does have a boyfriend and is willing to sleep with you but wants to make sure that you understand her situation first. She wants discretion and understanding. And though she might be available to you for sex, she's not immediately available for any more of a commitment.

4. She does have a boyfriend and she is willing to cheat on him (they often are if your game is tight), but she doesn't want to feel guilty about it. This is her rationalization process at work. As long as she mentions the boyfriend before sleeping with you, she can rationalize to herself that it was your fault. Sure, she might regret it later, but that won't necessarily stop her from cheating.

5. She doesn't have a boyfriend and she is attracted to you; she just doesn't want to look like a loser who can't get a man, most hot women have orbiters anyway: nice guys who pose as their friends but secretly want to sleep with them. Since the word "boyfriend" can have so many different meanings, she is thinking of one of her orbiters as a "place keeper."

The bottom line is, don't ask about her boyfriend and don't appear fazed if the mentions him. He may not even exist. Just take it at an instance of a lack of interest caused by you telegraphing too much interest far too soon.

Indicators of Interest (IOIs)

When a girl feels attracted to someone, she will begin to reveal subtle but distinct indicators of interest. A woman may deliberately give you these indicators, but often they are not conscious. Spotting these IOIs as they stream out of her helps us gauge her internal state.

Here are examples of IOIs. Notice that some of these require more attraction than others. For example, a woman might be attracted enough to ask you your name but not enough to leave the venue with you and bounce.

• She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking.

• She giggles.

• She touches you.

• She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you.

• She looks back and glances at you repeatedly every minute or so.

• She tosses her hair (to see if you will look).

• If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second.

• She smiles at you.

• She stands nearby (proximity).

• She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said.

• While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you.

• She says something to her friend and they both giggle.

• She asks you for a light or the time or in any way initiates a conversation.

• While you're talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention).

• She asks you for your name.

• She asks you your age. (Make her guess.)

• She compliments you.

• She is playful and tries to challenge you.

• She's disagreeing but laughing.

• She's punching your arm but laughing.

• She uses nicknames for you.

• She plays with her hair while talking to you.

• When she is sitting next to you her leg touches yours.

• She repeatedly touches you in any way.

• She asks if you have a girlfriend.

• She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one.

• When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back.

• She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when shespeaks with you.

• She avoids mentioning her boyfriend.

• If it comes up that you like something, she mentions that she likes it, too, or needs someone to show her how to do it.

• When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction.

• She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking.

• She introduces you to friends.

• She buys you a drink.

• She calls you a player or a heartbreaker.

• On her way put, she reapproaches to tell you that she is leaving.(Get her number.)

• On your way out, she asks you where you are going. (Invite her.)

• She returns your calls.

• She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have isolation with you.

Sometimes it isn't when she does something but rather when she doesn't do something that she's expressing interest. These are called passive IOIs, and they're very important because often they're the only IOIs you'll get.

Here are a few examples:

• Her friends go (to the bathroom or bar or dancing), but she stays.

• She comes to see you and hangs with you for extended periods.

• If you move, she follows you or waits for you.

• She doesn't flinch or pull back if you happen to get too close.

• She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut).

Fake IOIs

Be warned that girls may fake IOIs and lie to you. For example, a girl might give you IOIs while she is asking you to buy her a drink. She's not attracted to you but merely manipulating you. And, of course, if you are easily manipulated, she will find you less attractive. She might give you IOIs just to keep you around as free entertainment. A girl also might give IOIs when she is in fact ditching you. For example, when she says, "We have to go to the bathroom now," if in the back of her mind she knows she is really ditching you, she might touch - you on the arm as she says good-bye, to give you some validation.

A girl will also sometimes give IOIs just to see if she can get you to return them. If you return her IOIs too easily, without making her work for it, you have just become another notch on her validation belt and she may pursue greater challenges elsewhere. Don't jump on her just because she compliments you.

INDICATORS OF DISINTEREST (IODS)

Similarly, there are IODs. Here are a few examples of these:

• Avoidance: She avoids eye contact. She avoids your calls. She

avoids you in general.

• If she can pretend that she didn't hear what you just said, she

will.

• She won't contribute to the conversation.

• She gets impatient easily.

• She walks away or looks away.

• She leans away, turns her back, or talks to someone else.

• She is non-responsive, or she repetitively says "uh-huh" instead of giving you a real response.

• She won't move with you, even two feet away. She won't invest.

The path to mastery is not found by telling a hot woman that

she is hot, offering to buy her a drink, being too persistent, or asking

her lots of questions. Instead, be indirect and non-needy.

Statement of Interest (SOI)

An indicator of interest is usually a subtle cue of some sort, whereas a statement of interest (SOI) is an explicit verbal statement making clear your growing interest in her. For example, buy her a drink and say one of the following:

• "When we met, you just seemed like another one of those pretentious chicks, but since I've gotten to know you, I actually feel nervous around you now".

• "Oh my God, I can't believe this. Can you believe we met at a bar?"

• "We're going to sit down over there; would you like to join us?"

• "You know what? You are actually pretty cool. I'm curious about you."

• "I have to hang out with you again sometime. Can you cook?"

A well-timed SOI can work wonders.

Compliments

• No crap about "you are so hot, "you are my dream girl" etc. In other words, compliment from a screening frame, not a begging frame.

• Compliment her style, her energy, her poise, or something unique about her outfit that she chose. Don't be that guy who is constantly complimenting girls on their necklaces. Learn to notice things.

• Try giving her a compliment followed by a screening question.

• Try using constructive criticism after making the compliment.

• DON'T MENTION HER LOOKS.

Try complimenting her in a way that directs her to behave the way you want her to and to play a role that's useful to you. Here's an example:

"You seem to be very connected with your emotions. You seem to really listen to your woman's intuition." Of if she's being rude (or if you want to misinterpret that she was rude), say, "You're too classy to act like this."

Just tell her how you "view" her and she will become that person for you—but only if she agrees and it is flattering for her, you are building a character for her, and she will play the role because she likes the way that the role makes her feel. Here are some examples of compliments:

• "You seem like someone who really knows what she wants. I admire that."

• "You really care about your friends. I bet you will make a really good mother."

• "You have a good energy."

• "I notice you're the leader of your friends. Why is that?"

• "You're a great conversationalist."

• "You're a very classy girl. What are you doing in a place like this?"

• "Wow, you seem so confident with your friends, like you're kinda the leader of your peer group. I just love your energy. . . .

Are you close with your family?" (Going into next routine.)