COMFORT: PART 1

Only after you attract can seduction take place. However, before a woman who is attracted to you will be seduced, there is one additional crucial stage: you must build comfort.

If the meeting location does not allow you the time or afford you a comfortable setting to sit with her and build comfort, you must move her from the meeting location to a comfort location. All comfort-building locations are quieter and more secluded (though often still public) settings where you, your romantic interest, and her friends (as well as your friends) may share in lengthy dialogue.

CONVERSATION

A wide conversational rapport

A sense of comfort and trust

A sense that this interaction is real and genuine

A feeling of connection

There are several elements that need to be added to the mix at this point. Although you and your target have both indicated interest in each other, you still have only known each other for five or ten minutes. Your interest is based purely on the attraction-switches flipped. By baiting her to invest further, you now have an opportunity to build comfort and trust with her. And that is what actually gets the girl—the Game is played in comfort. Everything else was merely to get to this point.

If it has not already been demonstrated that the two of you can have a normal, fun, natural conversation together, this is the time to do so. In the future, when she is deciding whether to return your phone call, you don't want her thinking, Jeez, all we really had to talk about was clubbing and how the club scene is boring nowadays; we didn't really connect on a conversational level. Plus, I made out with him, so I know he's going to want more of that, but I don't even know this guy... it was fun at the time, but I just don't feel comfortable with this right now. There are a Million guys; I'll meet another hot guy tonight when I'm out with my girlfriends.

This reason is exactly why so many phone numbers are flakes—not enough comfort. Thus it's important to have fun, natural conversations with girls, using wide rapport and multiple conversational threads. When she looks back on that conversation, she should be thinking about how much she enjoyed talking with you and looks forward to doing so again.

Also, there must be a sense that this interaction is real and genuine. Often this is why women distrust "nice guys." How does she know he isn't just pretending to be nice in order to get into her pants? Sure, he's buying dinner and telling her she's pretty... but is that what he's really like? Or is that just what he's like when he wants something?

By demonstrating a willingness to walk or to step up and call bullshit in a fun way, you demonstrate that you are being genuine with her, which creates trust, allowing her to feel safe. This is what girls mean when they say they want a man who can keep it real. A girl needs to feel that she is getting to know the real you—and that takes time.

When you first game a girl, she is being stimulated and having fun with you. If this is done in a competent manner, most women enjoy it at the time. But for her to consider dating you in the future, she must not only be invested; she must feel a real connection between you. She must see you as someone who could really become a part of her life—and, more important, that she could become a part of your life. She wants someone who is similar to her in various ways. She wants someone who looks like a good counterpart, who will make other people say, "Oh, you look like such a great couple!" She wants someone her friends like; someone she can show off on social occasions; someone she understands and empathizes with; someone who has a social circle she could see herself joining.

When she remembers you, does she feel a genuine connection? Or are you just some guy she had a few laughs with while drinking at a bar one night?

CONVERSATIONAL RAPPORT

• Be a talkative person. Talk to anybody, not just girls. Get into the zone.

• Don't explicitly try to impress or show off. Don't directly tell impressive facts about yourself. Don't seek attention, approval, or understanding from others. Guys who are worried about what hot women think already bother them enough. Try being the one guy who isn't worried.

• Don't talk about weird, creepy, or stupid topics. Most people who do this are seeking attention. It's cool to get attention, but it's very uncool to be perceived as seeking it. Thus don't provoke people or show off to them in any way.

• Practice moving your target and getting her into isolation for comfort building.

• Demonstrate vulnerability and establish commonality and connection.

• Practice stacks of canned material. This is a useful skill

• Practice natural, spontaneous conversations with no canned material.

• Practice using multiple conversational threads.

• Continually escalate kino and use compliance testing.

• Cut boring threads; yours or hers. Lead the frame.

• Talk about fun, interesting, emotionally compelling topics.

• Don't ask a bunch of questions. They don't add value and they come off as rapport seeking. Instead of asking her where she works, make a guess. . She'll ask you why you guessed Safaricom, you'll give her a reason, and she’ll giggle—whether you were right or not. (You do want her to contribute and invest in the conversation. But you want her to do so because she is attracted, not because you are forcing the conversation along with lots of questions. You must add value.)

• Be agreeable. You don't always have to be right. Don't take yourself too seriously. For example, don't use disagreement unless you need to enforce a frame. If you're arguing about something, you probably care too much. Remember why you're here.

• "Rapport" doesn't mean "boring." The vibe you created in the attract stage should still be simmering just below the surface. If it isn't, then you probably made Sequencing Mistake #2: To Start in the Middle.

REALLY-BE TALKATIVE

It's vitally important to be talkative. It's easy to say it, but actually try it for a few months of practice. If you have so much to talk about and you bombard her (or her set) with lots of fun and interesting conversation, showing humor, opinion, and passion, then you get to convey your personality.

The talkative person just gets laid way more often. The secret is to put yourself in a talkative mood. Have you ever been in one? Close your eyes for a moment and remember what it was like at the time. Looking back on the women I have shared intimate moments with, I just talked their ears off on the path from meet to sex. After I witnessed positive body language and other IOIs, I would come out of the blue and say, "You're attracted to me." I don't talk about her. I don't ask many questions. I don't really expect her to have to say much at all. If she wants to join in, great, but otherwise, who cares? This is my world, and she is in it.

TALKING IS A LOGISTICAL TOOL

There is another benefit to talking—it occupies the conscious mind. Imagine that you're talking to your friend. You both get into his car, continuing your conversation, and he drives you to the beach. From your perspective, you were having this conversation,sights were flying by and voila! You're at the beach!

It's like magic—the conversation was the opiate. The pickup should be the same way, She is talking to you; everything feels so fun, comfortable, and natural. The conversation continues to flow—voila! She's having sex, Like magic! You should constantly occupy her conscious mind.

Nothing ruins the mood like a long, quiet car ride back to the house,.. or a long, quiet walk back to the car. Talking and keeping the flow is necessary to overcome logistical difficulties that otherwise will arise.