RELATIONSHIPS

I will be posting stuff about relationships soon but for now go out and practice meeting and gaming women.

For more on how to meet your prospective life partner, relationships and sex; please visit www.afrohost.co.ke and/or feel free to contact me for more info.

GO FORTH AND CONQUER!!!!

SEDUCTION

Seduction is mutual: if you can build enough comfort with a woman for her to be alone with you during the mid-game stage, then she will readily agree to have sex with you in the end-game stage. In fact, she may very well try to seduce you.

THE SEX LOCATION

Most meeting locations, including many of those for comfort building, are inappropriate settings for sexual intimacy. So participating in a mutual seduction will require jumping to a sex location.

A sex location is marked primarily by its privacy. It should also be in close proximity to a comfort-building location, so that you have only a short distance to move when the time comes. For example, your bedroom is very near your living room.

The best seduction location is one that allows you complete control, such as the bedroom of your own apartment or house. Here few variables (phone calls, roommates, parents, pets, etc.) can impede your success.

Consider the various benefits and limitations of the following sex locations:

• A vehicle

• A hotel room

• A friend's living room or bedroom

• The woman's bedroom

• Your bedroom

Some comfort-building locations, such as a private living room, may also be good sex locations. If you are in such a location, you can save yourself from having to move to the sex location.

Secure a sex location before approaching a woman in a meeting location. Don't leave the success of your end-game to chance.

LAST-MINUTE RESISTANCE

Every woman has hardwired into her head a behavioral circuit that works to protect her from getting pregnant by a man who has no intention of sticking around to help raise the child. The resistant behavior this emotive circuit elicits right before first-time sex is called last-minute resistance. It is your job to ease her through this uncomfortable emotion should it arise. Having sex carries a much larger risk and investment for a woman than it does for a man from an evolutionary perspective. Last-minute resistance is her last line of defense before the point of no return.

A woman's LMR threshold may differ from person to person, and a woman's own LMR threshold will change depending on the value of the man she is about to sleep with and other circumstances.

Here are some common trigger points:

• Kissing

• Touching breasts

• Top removal

• Bra removal

• Pants removal

• Panties removal

• Fingering

• Oral sex (giving or receiving)

OVERCOMING LAST-MINUTE RESISTANCE

"You've hijacked My Brain ..."

Your romantic interest may not feel qualified enough for you. She may believe that if she gives it up too easily, you will simply move on afterward. This is why it's so important in the attraction phase that she feels her efforts are succeeding and that she is winning you over. If this is missing, girls will freak out just prior to sex and say, "Why me? Why do you like me?" or, "I don't even know you...." If you say, "Baby, I just can't stop thinking about you," this would inoculate against her LMR, but only if it were said hours earlier in the comfort phase. Say that while in bed with her and you could be lying to get her to submit to you. Instead, repeatedly convey to her throughout the comfort phases that your brain has been hijacked, that you can't help but think of her constantly, and that the feeling is growing stronger and stronger. Don't creep her out and stalk her. Just tell her she is on your mind more often than you thought possible and it concerns you a bit.

"We Should Stop ..."

The primary technique in the LMR arsenal is token resistance, usually verbal in nature while the physical simultaneously continues to escalate.

She may say, "Baby, we should slow this down." What is the purpose of this?

The ideal scenario involves growing sexual tension that, at some point, triggers a loss of all control (and therefore accountability). She cannot help but be ravenously taken. It's not her fault. A force overtook her utterly beyond her control: the force of nature. Token resistance is necessary to make that feeling real. If you don't resist, she will.

Notice that if she gives token resistance, the best response is to just agree with her and even echo it. If you disagree, you are only giving her something to push against. Don't give her traction by way of disagreement.

If you're undressing her and she says, "We should stop," just agree with her... and then keep going. "I know, baby," you reply as you continue to undress her. "We should stop."

PLAY SOLID GAME

Her emotional circuitry is designed to select for a high-value man whom she trusts and with whom she pair-bonds. If your game is tight, last-minute resistance will be greatly reduced as an issue. So examine your basic game.

SEX

Having sex with a woman for the first time is what you've been waiting for, the culmination of your efforts, the payoff for your Venusian arts mastery. Yet going to bed is more than just a successful conclusion to courtship; Seduction also opens a new door to the beginning of the next phase of your relationship with the woman.

The focus during your first sexual encounter should be on making her comfortable, having fun and playing, and taking your connection to a higher level. Unless the two of you share a mutually agreed-upon interest, save the freaky stuff for later. When you're slowly undressing her for the first time, whisper in her ear how beautiful she looks bathed in candlelight—don't ask if she's into anal sex or if you can tie her up to the bedpost. During that first encounter, definitely keep the whips and chains in your toy box.

Practicing safe sex is always incredibly important, but particularly so during your first encounter with a woman. Be sure to use protection, for your sake and hers. Being irresponsible during an initial sexual encounter is hardly a prescription for building mutual trust. What's more, if you're irresponsible and acquire a communicable disease in the process, your gaming will be severely curtailed. That's the best-case scenario, too. Needless to say, unprotected partners can even put each other's lives in jeopardy. Nothing is worth that risk.

By carefully choosing your target in the field and then confirming the validity of your choice through the attraction, comfort-building, and seduction phases you will have selected a woman of such beauty and quality that you will want to have sex with her many times.

There's also the high that comes from getting a phone message from the woman telling you what a wonderful time she had, not to mention the feeling that comes from subsequent encounters that feel even more erotic than the first one because you're both more comfortable with each other.

If you have sex with the woman only once and disappear, when she wants you to stay in her life in some capacity, a protection circuit in her head will punish her, sometimes severely, for compromising her chances of survival and replication. I've been told that it feels to a woman as if something very important has been stolen from her, and it's unethical to subject anyone to such painful and regretful feelings.

COMFORT: PART 2

COMMONALITY
People tend to be more attracted to those who they consider to be similar to them in some way. The more that you both have in common with each other, the more she will rationalize that this was meant to be. She needs to be able to imagine you as a realistic addition to her everyday life. Sure, she enjoyed being entertained by you at the club but in real life, would the two of you fit?

Would your respective social circles be compatible? Prepare yourself by drawing out specific information from her in the comfort phase so that you can demonstrate commonality. Be careful: If it looks like you're fishing for commonalities in an effort to ingratiate yourself with her, you look desperate.


VULNERABILITY
When people share vulnerabilities with each other, it demonstrates (and creates) an emotional connection between them. It's one of those things that, if done too soon, will come off like you are trying too hard to gain rapport with her—a DLV. So don't be Captain Sensitive when you first meet her. At the right time, however, sharing vulnerabilities is a powerful comfort builder.

Did she tell you something personal about herself? Did she tell you a secret? The Question Game is very useful for this sort of sharing. It's also possible to structure stories to make vulnerability appear as if it were revealed accidentally.

Here are some examples of field-tested vulnerability stories:
• An embarrassing story. Hint: Cosmo Confessions is a treasure trove of material.
• First kiss experience (childhood regression).
• Your pet died because you were too small to take care of it.
• Your little niece fell down the stairs—"and I don't know what I would have done if things had gone bad that day, I love that little girl so much!"
• The story of your father dying and you reaching closure.

Tell her about your childhood. Talk about the cutest little baby you just saw and how it reminded you of your little sister when you were a kid. Reveal an insecurity and then tell the story behind overcoming it.

Tell her a secret. She'll be more likely to share one of her own.

Do not whine about your ex-girlfriend. And don't linger on sad emotions. "Pull" her sad strings and then move on to another one of your happier multiple threads.

So much unattractive behavior comes from a desire to avoid vulnerability. The secret is to embrace your vulnerability and still be unaffected by it. It's OK to be wrong. It's OK to laugh at yourself sometimes. Think about it: If you're sensitive about her seeing that you're wrong, then what she thinks obviously matters to you. But I thought you were unaffected? So the next time you tell the story of when you fought a lion with your bare hands, remember that it's more attractive—and interesting—to admit you were scared shitless than it is to play Mr. Tough Guy.

If that girl is going to be your girlfriend, she will eventually learn about your vulnerabilities anyway. Why wait until after sex to reveal them? Why not reveal them before sex, perhaps in the comfort stage?

Compliance Momentum
There is a basic model where people interact socially in five ways:
1. DHV—Demonstration of Higher Value
2. DLV—Demonstration of Lower Value (other people do this, not you)
3. IOI—Indicator of Interest
4. IOD—Indicator of Disinterest
5. CT—Compliance Test (almost all interactions at some point come down to a test for compliance; will you get compliance or defiance?)

Comfort is not only trust and time; it is also compliance. If you ask a friend to do something for you, he is much more likely to do it than, if you were to ask a random stranger. If you walk up to your girlfriend and kiss her, she will not only let you; she will pull you in and kiss you harder. Why? Because you have a high level of compliance. However, you have almost no chance of walking up to a stranger and doing the same things and receiving the same responses.

Why do we say that compliance has momentum? All compliance builds upon itself. Someone complying will continue to comply. Someone defying will continue to defy and resent, and interpret any attempt to force her to comply as an attack. But once we have reached compliance threshold, it takes very little effort to keep the compliance going.

KISSING: Kino and kissing are comfort builders, not seduction.

How will you know the right moment to kiss? You must train your intuition through time in the field. A good rule of thumb is not to bother trying to kiss her until after she has given you three IOIs. For example: she touches you, she laughs at your jokes, and she picks up the conversation when you let it drop.
Consider caressing the back of the neck to show you mean business, and abide by the 90/10 rule: You advance 90% of the way and she must advance 10% of the way to kiss you.


Kino (short for kinesthetic): physical touching of any kind.
Kino escalation: progressively more intimate physical contact.

NB: Most of the time you share with a woman should be invested in comfort building(mid-game) so that she will be comfortable when you begin seduction.

COMFORT: PART 1

Only after you attract can seduction take place. However, before a woman who is attracted to you will be seduced, there is one additional crucial stage: you must build comfort.

If the meeting location does not allow you the time or afford you a comfortable setting to sit with her and build comfort, you must move her from the meeting location to a comfort location. All comfort-building locations are quieter and more secluded (though often still public) settings where you, your romantic interest, and her friends (as well as your friends) may share in lengthy dialogue.

CONVERSATION

A wide conversational rapport

A sense of comfort and trust

A sense that this interaction is real and genuine

A feeling of connection

There are several elements that need to be added to the mix at this point. Although you and your target have both indicated interest in each other, you still have only known each other for five or ten minutes. Your interest is based purely on the attraction-switches flipped. By baiting her to invest further, you now have an opportunity to build comfort and trust with her. And that is what actually gets the girl—the Game is played in comfort. Everything else was merely to get to this point.

If it has not already been demonstrated that the two of you can have a normal, fun, natural conversation together, this is the time to do so. In the future, when she is deciding whether to return your phone call, you don't want her thinking, Jeez, all we really had to talk about was clubbing and how the club scene is boring nowadays; we didn't really connect on a conversational level. Plus, I made out with him, so I know he's going to want more of that, but I don't even know this guy... it was fun at the time, but I just don't feel comfortable with this right now. There are a Million guys; I'll meet another hot guy tonight when I'm out with my girlfriends.

This reason is exactly why so many phone numbers are flakes—not enough comfort. Thus it's important to have fun, natural conversations with girls, using wide rapport and multiple conversational threads. When she looks back on that conversation, she should be thinking about how much she enjoyed talking with you and looks forward to doing so again.

Also, there must be a sense that this interaction is real and genuine. Often this is why women distrust "nice guys." How does she know he isn't just pretending to be nice in order to get into her pants? Sure, he's buying dinner and telling her she's pretty... but is that what he's really like? Or is that just what he's like when he wants something?

By demonstrating a willingness to walk or to step up and call bullshit in a fun way, you demonstrate that you are being genuine with her, which creates trust, allowing her to feel safe. This is what girls mean when they say they want a man who can keep it real. A girl needs to feel that she is getting to know the real you—and that takes time.

When you first game a girl, she is being stimulated and having fun with you. If this is done in a competent manner, most women enjoy it at the time. But for her to consider dating you in the future, she must not only be invested; she must feel a real connection between you. She must see you as someone who could really become a part of her life—and, more important, that she could become a part of your life. She wants someone who is similar to her in various ways. She wants someone who looks like a good counterpart, who will make other people say, "Oh, you look like such a great couple!" She wants someone her friends like; someone she can show off on social occasions; someone she understands and empathizes with; someone who has a social circle she could see herself joining.

When she remembers you, does she feel a genuine connection? Or are you just some guy she had a few laughs with while drinking at a bar one night?

CONVERSATIONAL RAPPORT

• Be a talkative person. Talk to anybody, not just girls. Get into the zone.

• Don't explicitly try to impress or show off. Don't directly tell impressive facts about yourself. Don't seek attention, approval, or understanding from others. Guys who are worried about what hot women think already bother them enough. Try being the one guy who isn't worried.

• Don't talk about weird, creepy, or stupid topics. Most people who do this are seeking attention. It's cool to get attention, but it's very uncool to be perceived as seeking it. Thus don't provoke people or show off to them in any way.

• Practice moving your target and getting her into isolation for comfort building.

• Demonstrate vulnerability and establish commonality and connection.

• Practice stacks of canned material. This is a useful skill

• Practice natural, spontaneous conversations with no canned material.

• Practice using multiple conversational threads.

• Continually escalate kino and use compliance testing.

• Cut boring threads; yours or hers. Lead the frame.

• Talk about fun, interesting, emotionally compelling topics.

• Don't ask a bunch of questions. They don't add value and they come off as rapport seeking. Instead of asking her where she works, make a guess. . She'll ask you why you guessed Safaricom, you'll give her a reason, and she’ll giggle—whether you were right or not. (You do want her to contribute and invest in the conversation. But you want her to do so because she is attracted, not because you are forcing the conversation along with lots of questions. You must add value.)

• Be agreeable. You don't always have to be right. Don't take yourself too seriously. For example, don't use disagreement unless you need to enforce a frame. If you're arguing about something, you probably care too much. Remember why you're here.

• "Rapport" doesn't mean "boring." The vibe you created in the attract stage should still be simmering just below the surface. If it isn't, then you probably made Sequencing Mistake #2: To Start in the Middle.

REALLY-BE TALKATIVE

It's vitally important to be talkative. It's easy to say it, but actually try it for a few months of practice. If you have so much to talk about and you bombard her (or her set) with lots of fun and interesting conversation, showing humor, opinion, and passion, then you get to convey your personality.

The talkative person just gets laid way more often. The secret is to put yourself in a talkative mood. Have you ever been in one? Close your eyes for a moment and remember what it was like at the time. Looking back on the women I have shared intimate moments with, I just talked their ears off on the path from meet to sex. After I witnessed positive body language and other IOIs, I would come out of the blue and say, "You're attracted to me." I don't talk about her. I don't ask many questions. I don't really expect her to have to say much at all. If she wants to join in, great, but otherwise, who cares? This is my world, and she is in it.

TALKING IS A LOGISTICAL TOOL

There is another benefit to talking—it occupies the conscious mind. Imagine that you're talking to your friend. You both get into his car, continuing your conversation, and he drives you to the beach. From your perspective, you were having this conversation,sights were flying by and voila! You're at the beach!

It's like magic—the conversation was the opiate. The pickup should be the same way, She is talking to you; everything feels so fun, comfortable, and natural. The conversation continues to flow—voila! She's having sex, Like magic! You should constantly occupy her conscious mind.

Nothing ruins the mood like a long, quiet car ride back to the house,.. or a long, quiet walk back to the car. Talking and keeping the flow is necessary to overcome logistical difficulties that otherwise will arise.

QUALIFICATION: PART 2

HAVE STANDARDS

Here is what it means to have low standards regarding women:

• I will take whatever I can get (which is not much).

• There is nothing special or unique about you; I settled for you because I have no other choice for sex. I'm grateful just to find someone who is willing to fuck a loser like me; apparently that someone is you.

• Being with me makes you feel common and used.

Instead, demonstrating to a woman that you have standards conveys this:

• I have a lot of choice when it comes to women. I am accustomed

to success with women.

• If I do take a liking to you, it is more than just for your looks. It is because you are a special and unique person who lives up to my high expectations.

• I will only be with a quality woman, and that's what you are.

Remember, women have antennae for this sort of thing. They can tell which way you lean, and they WILL FEEL the resulting emotions.

The average guy approaches a woman assuming that she is selective, and he hopes to pass her test. He thinks, God you are so hot. Do you have a boyfriend? Can I buy you a drink? Because of this attitude, subtle cues in his behavior will convey entirely the wrong frame. Her hardwired attraction circuitry will pick up on this, and she will lose interest.

Correspondingly, the opposite is true if you have standards: Subtle cues in your behavior will set the frame that you are a selective, high value guy. She will pick up on this and gain interest. She expects that a guy with potential will be selective. Here are some standards worth considering:

• An attractive woman who takes care of herself

• A woman who is sociable and has friends

• A woman who has a real thirst for life

• A woman who has a great energy and a positive outlook

• A woman who is not a flake

• A woman who is in touch with her own sensuality; she's not a baby anymore

• A woman who can seek after her own fulfillment instead of waiting for approval from her friends

• A classy and smart woman with an education

• A woman who is adventurous and has a great imagination

SCREENING

The idea is to get her hoping that she's good enough to qualify for you. After all, you are a high-value guy. Sure, you're curious about her, but you want to know more. Is she smart? Does she have a lot of friends? Does she have a good relationship with her family? Can she dance well? (You know what that means!) What's the most spontaneous

thing she's done recently? Can she cook?

• "Is there more to you than meets the eye?

• "What do you want to be when you grow up?

• There are lots of beautiful women here. But what's really important is the energy, the intelligence, the little things about a person that make her unique. What are some things about you that would make me want to get to know you better?"

• "If a magician came along and you could be poof anything you want to be . . . what would you choose? And don't say princess."

• "Who are you?"

• "Do you like animals?

• "How old are you?" (Now disqualify: "Oh my God, you're just a baby.")

• "So tell me; what are your three best qualities?

• "Did you go to school? Are you smart? Do you have lots of friends?"

• "Can you cook? Do you give good backrubs? Are you adventurous?

• "Are you a passionate person?

• "There are some people who... they think they're open-minded and adventurous. They make all these great plans...they talk about meeting new people, or going on a diet, or taking a cool trip. But they don't. They just sit around doing the same old boring shit, over and over again, Are you like that?"

You don't want it to be explicit that you are screening her. Be very subtle, and she will realize it on her own accord, without thinking you're trying to make her feel screened. Somewhere in her mind an attraction switch will flip and she'll think, Hey, this guy is screening me to see if he wants to invest more.

She naturally assumes that the man she is looking for will be selective. It's a behavior that she's been expecting and thus is a powerful DHV. It sets the right frame, it's the signal she's been waiting for, and it baits her to invest.

So how can you convey to her in a memorized routine that she is being screened? Ask screening questions, give IOIs and IODs at the right moments, and convey real standards about the kind of people with whom you spend your time. It has to be true for you in order for her to feel congruence. You must also have some specific stories prepared allowing you to convey that you have standards.

Qualifiers

Periodically, the time comes to let a girl know she is qualifying for you. She has to feel like she is winning you over; otherwise, she will get discouraged.

These lines are only examples. You could qualify her even with your body language. Try giving her an IOI. Turn to face her when she says something that you can misinterpret as being cool and worthy of an IOI. Often, it's useful to follow an IOI with an IOD. Notice that each of these qualifiers has an optional disqualifier:

• "You are so adorable... it's sickening."

• "You know, you can be pretty interesting sometimes.

• "You're awesome! Just kidding."

• "It's weird... I feel so good around you." (False disqualifier) "Too bad you're not my type."

• "You're pretty... and evil."

• Oh my God. You’re a dancer? That is so awesome. I can't even talk to you now"

QUALIFICATION: PART 1

She must be baited to invest herself in this interaction.

Once interest has been generated, the Game has only begun. In fact, it is a common mistake to think that attraction gets the girl. She must become invested in this interaction, and then rapport must be established.

Attraction is useful—to bait her into investing. Other than that, attraction is but a vapor. She might be making out with you tonight, but that doesn't mean she'll return your calls tomorrow. We must now work to harness the initial affliction to get her to DHV us so we may IOI her. When she demonstrates value in an attempt to win you over, reward her with IOIs, then bait her again as the process repeats.

In this way, her reward is tied to her investment. As she demonstrates value, she is simultaneously rewarded and baited to demonstrate more value. This all comes back to pair bonding. A woman takes a much larger risk evolutionarily (and therefore emotionally) when she has sex. It's not enough that she is attracted to you—your pair bond must be there for her as well. Of course, we are speaking only of emotions. Is it really true that the pair bond "must" be there? Obviously not—one-night stands happen all the time. What is the meaning then?

The meaning is that the woman still has this emotional circuitry and it's still a factor in her behavior. Her emotions prefer a man of high value, high enough that it requires effort and investment in order to win him over. And her emotions do want to win him over. She
wants to feel that he is pair-bonding to her.

In other words, she wants to feel that she is important to him not just as an attractive woman but as a specific woman. She needs to feel that it wasn't easy, that she had to invest and there was some fear of loss, but that now he is "falling" for her. His pair-bond circuits have curiously been turned on.
When you can bait a woman into working for your affections and you can convey your resulting "growing pair bond" effectively, you are now ready to move into comfort.

HOOP THEORY
One frame game that people play is to see if they can get you to jump into their hoops. For example, a girl might try to get you to do something such as hold her purse or buy her a drink. Here are some additional examples:

* She gives you a fake IOI to see if you will start chasing her
* She makes a comment to bait you into showing off to heft
* She gives a fake IOD to see if you get worried and react.
* She asks something to bait you into explaining yourself or
apologizing to her.

These are all examples of hoops that girls will use to assert their feminine power. If you are doing things for a girl, chasing after her, showing off to her, reacting to her, apologizing to her, and explaining yourself to her, those are all IOIs that she can measure and exploit.

If you jump into her hoops, two things will happen. One, she will feel really good about herself---some part of her will be reassured on a primal level. And two, she may lose attraction. Just because she likes something doesn't mean that it will get you any closer to having sex with her.

Be careful. On one hand, you don't want to be the chump who gets tooled. On the other hand, you also don't want to be the social robot that is always playing power games when he should be relaxing and confidently enjoying his interactions with women. People aren't always trying to fuck with you. When a hoop does come along, the average frustrated chump is eager to jump into her hoop. He thinks it shows her how much he cares.
He thinks it is romantic and will win her over. He thinks any guy who does otherwise is a jerk. But you don't have to jump into her hoop. You can turn it back on her. Or you can create a new hoop just for her. Or you can ignore it entirely—silence is often the best response.

Some examples:

PUT UP A NEW HOOP
Girl: Why are you talking to me?
You: Do you always wear your lipstick like that?
—OR—
You: [to her friends] 7s she always like this? Get this.
[start a routine]

IGNORE HER COMMENT
Girl: What is with your shirt?
You: (silence)
—OR—
You: Hey, guys, get this. Last weekend, my friend and I
[start a routine]
GRAB HER HOOP
Girl: Will you buy me a drink?
You: Buy me a drink and we will see.

Every conversation has some give-and-take. If she gives you a hoop, it is actually OK to jump into it, provided that you first get her to jump into one of your own.

Some examples of this:
EXAMPLE 1
Girl: How old are you?
You: Guess
Girl: Hmm... twenty-six?
You: Close. I'm actually twenty-eight.

In the first example, she asks your age. But Instead of answering straightaway, you make
her guess first.
In the second example, she tries the same trick back on you-but your frame is too strong!
EXAMPLE 2
You: How old are you?
Girl: Guess.
You: Do you want me to guess low or guess high?
Girl: Guess low!
You: Okay then... I'd say you look about twenty-two.

An interesting thing about hoops is that the more obvious it is that it's a hoop, the less likely someone will jump into it.
For example, let's say someone asked you, "Hey, man, can you grab me a glass of water while you're up?" That's a pretty reasonable hoop, and most people would have no problem fulfilling such a request.
What if instead he said, "Hey, goof. Why don't you get up, go in the kitchen, and get me some water like the little bitch that you are."
Indeed, few would jump into that hoop, which would be tantamount to accepting the frame that one is in fact his bitch. So . . . what you want to do is start small. Bait the target into innocuous little hoops: "Could you hold my drink for a sec? Thanks." Over time, as she falls into your frame, those hoops can become larger and more frequent. In the science of social dynamics, this process is known as compliance momentum. Soon she'll derive pleasure from rubbing your back and cooking your dinner, but for now start small by making her guess your age.

ATTRACTION: PART 2

BOYFRIENDS

Nine times out of ten when a woman says, "I have a boyfriend,” what this translates to is, "You just telegraphed too much interest.” It has nothing to do with whether she actually has a boyfriend. In fact, if she is attracted to you, she will often deliberately hide the boyfriend from you until after you have had sex with her. Whether she mentions him or not in no way proves that he actually exists—only that she had a motive to mention him.

Some Reasons That a Woman Might Say She Has a Boyfriend

1. Though she doesn't have a boyfriend) she's not attracted to you or you miscalibrated your escalation.

2. She does have a boyfriend and) given her current options, she has chosen to stick with that relationship.

3. She does have a boyfriend and is willing to sleep with you but wants to make sure that you understand her situation first. She wants discretion and understanding. And though she might be available to you for sex, she's not immediately available for any more of a commitment.

4. She does have a boyfriend and she is willing to cheat on him (they often are if your game is tight), but she doesn't want to feel guilty about it. This is her rationalization process at work. As long as she mentions the boyfriend before sleeping with you, she can rationalize to herself that it was your fault. Sure, she might regret it later, but that won't necessarily stop her from cheating.

5. She doesn't have a boyfriend and she is attracted to you; she just doesn't want to look like a loser who can't get a man, most hot women have orbiters anyway: nice guys who pose as their friends but secretly want to sleep with them. Since the word "boyfriend" can have so many different meanings, she is thinking of one of her orbiters as a "place keeper."

The bottom line is, don't ask about her boyfriend and don't appear fazed if the mentions him. He may not even exist. Just take it at an instance of a lack of interest caused by you telegraphing too much interest far too soon.

Indicators of Interest (IOIs)

When a girl feels attracted to someone, she will begin to reveal subtle but distinct indicators of interest. A woman may deliberately give you these indicators, but often they are not conscious. Spotting these IOIs as they stream out of her helps us gauge her internal state.

Here are examples of IOIs. Notice that some of these require more attraction than others. For example, a woman might be attracted enough to ask you your name but not enough to leave the venue with you and bounce.

• She reinitiates conversation when you stop talking.

• She giggles.

• She touches you.

• She tries to get rapport and build comfort with you.

• She looks back and glances at you repeatedly every minute or so.

• She tosses her hair (to see if you will look).

• If eye contact happens from a distance, she holds it for a second.

• She smiles at you.

• She stands nearby (proximity).

• She interrupts your conversation from nearby or laughs at something you said.

• While walking by, she turns her body toward you or brushes against you.

• She says something to her friend and they both giggle.

• She asks you for a light or the time or in any way initiates a conversation.

• While you're talking to her group, she is particularly talkative (to get your attention).

• She asks you for your name.

• She asks you your age. (Make her guess.)

• She compliments you.

• She is playful and tries to challenge you.

• She's disagreeing but laughing.

• She's punching your arm but laughing.

• She uses nicknames for you.

• She plays with her hair while talking to you.

• When she is sitting next to you her leg touches yours.

• She repeatedly touches you in any way.

• She asks if you have a girlfriend.

• She mentions your girlfriend without knowing if you actually have one.

• When she has to go to the bathroom, she comes back.

• She holds eye contact for longer periods of time when shespeaks with you.

• She avoids mentioning her boyfriend.

• If it comes up that you like something, she mentions that she likes it, too, or needs someone to show her how to do it.

• When she says or does something, she looks at you to see your reaction.

• She looks at you from the side, to hide the fact that she's looking.

• She introduces you to friends.

• She buys you a drink.

• She calls you a player or a heartbreaker.

• On her way put, she reapproaches to tell you that she is leaving.(Get her number.)

• On your way out, she asks you where you are going. (Invite her.)

• She returns your calls.

• She invents reasons to be near you, interact with you, or have isolation with you.

Sometimes it isn't when she does something but rather when she doesn't do something that she's expressing interest. These are called passive IOIs, and they're very important because often they're the only IOIs you'll get.

Here are a few examples:

• Her friends go (to the bathroom or bar or dancing), but she stays.

• She comes to see you and hangs with you for extended periods.

• If you move, she follows you or waits for you.

• She doesn't flinch or pull back if you happen to get too close.

• She doesn't resist when you escalate physically (or she gives token resistance to avoid feeling like a slut).

Fake IOIs

Be warned that girls may fake IOIs and lie to you. For example, a girl might give you IOIs while she is asking you to buy her a drink. She's not attracted to you but merely manipulating you. And, of course, if you are easily manipulated, she will find you less attractive. She might give you IOIs just to keep you around as free entertainment. A girl also might give IOIs when she is in fact ditching you. For example, when she says, "We have to go to the bathroom now," if in the back of her mind she knows she is really ditching you, she might touch - you on the arm as she says good-bye, to give you some validation.

A girl will also sometimes give IOIs just to see if she can get you to return them. If you return her IOIs too easily, without making her work for it, you have just become another notch on her validation belt and she may pursue greater challenges elsewhere. Don't jump on her just because she compliments you.

INDICATORS OF DISINTEREST (IODS)

Similarly, there are IODs. Here are a few examples of these:

• Avoidance: She avoids eye contact. She avoids your calls. She

avoids you in general.

• If she can pretend that she didn't hear what you just said, she

will.

• She won't contribute to the conversation.

• She gets impatient easily.

• She walks away or looks away.

• She leans away, turns her back, or talks to someone else.

• She is non-responsive, or she repetitively says "uh-huh" instead of giving you a real response.

• She won't move with you, even two feet away. She won't invest.

The path to mastery is not found by telling a hot woman that

she is hot, offering to buy her a drink, being too persistent, or asking

her lots of questions. Instead, be indirect and non-needy.

Statement of Interest (SOI)

An indicator of interest is usually a subtle cue of some sort, whereas a statement of interest (SOI) is an explicit verbal statement making clear your growing interest in her. For example, buy her a drink and say one of the following:

• "When we met, you just seemed like another one of those pretentious chicks, but since I've gotten to know you, I actually feel nervous around you now".

• "Oh my God, I can't believe this. Can you believe we met at a bar?"

• "We're going to sit down over there; would you like to join us?"

• "You know what? You are actually pretty cool. I'm curious about you."

• "I have to hang out with you again sometime. Can you cook?"

A well-timed SOI can work wonders.

Compliments

• No crap about "you are so hot, "you are my dream girl" etc. In other words, compliment from a screening frame, not a begging frame.

• Compliment her style, her energy, her poise, or something unique about her outfit that she chose. Don't be that guy who is constantly complimenting girls on their necklaces. Learn to notice things.

• Try giving her a compliment followed by a screening question.

• Try using constructive criticism after making the compliment.

• DON'T MENTION HER LOOKS.

Try complimenting her in a way that directs her to behave the way you want her to and to play a role that's useful to you. Here's an example:

"You seem to be very connected with your emotions. You seem to really listen to your woman's intuition." Of if she's being rude (or if you want to misinterpret that she was rude), say, "You're too classy to act like this."

Just tell her how you "view" her and she will become that person for you—but only if she agrees and it is flattering for her, you are building a character for her, and she will play the role because she likes the way that the role makes her feel. Here are some examples of compliments:

• "You seem like someone who really knows what she wants. I admire that."

• "You really care about your friends. I bet you will make a really good mother."

• "You have a good energy."

• "I notice you're the leader of your friends. Why is that?"

• "You're a great conversationalist."

• "You're a very classy girl. What are you doing in a place like this?"

• "Wow, you seem so confident with your friends, like you're kinda the leader of your peer group. I just love your energy. . . .

Are you close with your family?" (Going into next routine.)

ATTRACTION: PART 1

Attraction: improving yourself to a point where women are magnetically attracted to you.

Men and women alike are motivated more persuasively by their emotions. Often, we simply use our intellects to rationalize those emotional actions after the fact. To women, emotions are much more profound and encompassing than they are even to men. In fact, when a woman explains something, she will often use emotions as legitimate reasons unto themselves. Just “feeling” something to be true is reason enough.

Don’t try to Convince her
Don’t bother trying to convince her, argue with her, or engage her in any other way on a purely logical level. Logic should never be used as a motivator in the field, because what a woman thinks she likes, or says she likes, is not necessarily what she responds to in reality.

Stimulate her Emotions
Use emotional stimulation instead of rational discourse. As long as it feels right, your romantic interest will invent her reasons for what is happening. In other words, a woman will come up with a thousand reasons that she shouldn’t have sex with you – but she will also come up with a thousand reasons for why she did.

A woman knows how susceptible to persuasion she becomes in an excited emotional state. Often her safeguard is to avoid the risk of becoming emotionally engaged in an interaction where she doesn’t feel trust or safety, or where the man gaming her doesn’t demonstrate a high S-and-R value.

Instead of only trying to give her “good” emotions while avoiding “bad” ones, stimulate her with a range of feelings including curiosity, fascination, connection, indignation, validation, laughter, embarrassment, happiness, sadness and fear of value loss. The more she is stimulated, the more compelling the experience will be for her.

S-and-R value = Survival and Replication value: your primary and secondary purpose in life is to survive and to replicate, respectively.

“Why do you suppose we only feel compelled to chase the ones who run away?”
- Vicomite De Valmonte, Les Liaisons Dangereuses

CAT-STRING theory

Cats don’t take orders, but they can be tempted to chase e.g. if you dangle a feather on a string and use it properly, you can get a cat to perform acrobatics. But when you put the same feather down in front of the cat, it will turn up its nose (maybe even roll its eyes :-) ).

Keep validation and attention slightly out of her reach. If a man is too easily acquired, a woman will quickly get bored and lose interest. But if he is also completely unattainable, then she will also lose interest and give up. She must be baited to chase in small increments, just like a cat with a string…

In case you’re thinking and saying to yourself that this is “scheming, unfair, or whatever” please remember that as much as women are wonderful creatures, they are not angels of purity and morality – they’re human just like the rest of us. In the field, you may often notice women lying or using other manipulation: they may act jealous, use their sexuality to gain power, lie a bout their age or give you a wrong number, stir up trouble, or (without hesitation) ditch you for someone else – someone with higher status, more alpha, has deeper pockets…etc.


NB: How do you make someone want something?
1. Give it value
2. Show that others like it
3. Make it scarce
4. Make them work for it

Transitioning

Transitioning: Turning a single-subject approach into a normal, free-flowing conversation.

Transitioning turns a simple interaction into a longer conversation by introducing at least one new topic and changing the dynamic of your interaction. This is a very important phase and one that turns approaches into conversations.

It doesn’t matter what you say first to a woman (as long as it’s not vulgar or stupid). What matters is what you say to her after she responds because she needs to know what you’re made of.

The question that goes through her mind when you vibe her is “Why is this guy talking to me?” Either:

1. He is just chatty.

2. He is interested in me – cool!

3. He is interested in me – yuck!

We do not want No. 3. The difference in 1 & 2 is not appearing to be needy and showing her that it’s no big deal whether she engages you in the conversation or not.

In reality you need to re-open continuously by introducing new topics that are completely unrelated to the last. That is taking charge.

As soon as you know the topic is going to stall out or not be interesting anymore just pick it up and move it to another topic which is fresh and hopefully, a lot different from the last.

Regular people never do that in real life because they are afraid of cutting people off or not being able to make a new topic interesting, or worried about taking charge etc... The problem is that when no one takes charge of the conversation and hopes it just goes in a good direction, the interaction has no magic.

Always lead the interaction, it is necessary to keep things fun in the opening phase of the game. If you don’t work to steer the conversation into interesting topics, the woman may accidentally raise her own boring topics – and then she’ll feel bored and blame it on you.

However, if you find the conversation stalling and the awkward silence about to creep in you could always use canned material/universal transitions as a back-up plan. E.g.

1. What’s on the agenda for tonight?

2. How do you guys know each other?

3. Do a cold read of group dynamics: Assess the group and identify-“…you’re the spoiler,or leader,or the one who is normally left behind,or the one who makes sure no one is left behind/all get home safely etc.

4. Observational transition: “…you guys have known each other for a while – you have the same smile etc. Or you could give them the best friends test, where you ask them questions about themselves e.g. Ask “Do you guys use the same shampoo, toothpaste, lotion, whatever?” If they’re really close, they will know this and say yes almost simultaneously or look at each other and smile.

5. No transition i.e. she does it for you:

· She asks you questions.

· She asks your name.

· She gives extended answers to your questions.